[zevon] ain't that pretty at all

Were there ever such savage lyrics set to such harmonious music as those of Warren Zevon, already mentioned earlier today? Was there ever a muso's muso unknown to the public at large?

Most know him as the gravel voice behind the classic Werewolves of London but his songs were myriad and often very, very strange: “Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner”, “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” and “Tenderness On The Block”, about teenage love on the street, were three of note.

On the idealism of the young which turns to disappointment and then resignation:

“Looking For The Next Best Thing”

I worked hard, but not for the money

Did my best to please

I used to think it was funny

'Till I realized it was just a tease

So I'm looking for the next best thing

Looking for the next best thing

I appreciate the best

But I'm settling for less

'Cause I'm looking for the next best thing

On visiting much lauded sites and not seeing what all the fuss was about:

"Ain't that Pretty at All"

I've been to Paris

And it ain't that pretty at all

I'd like to go back to Paris someday and visit the Louvre Museum

Get a good running start and hurl myself at the wall

'Cause I'd rather feel bad than feel nothing at all

On the modern malaise which threatens to destroy relationships:

"Nobody's in Love this Year"

We keep walking away for no reason at all

And no one says a word

We were always so busy protecting ourselves

We never would have heard

And the rate of attrition for lovers like us

Is steadily on the rise

Nobody's in love this year

Not even you and I

Due to lack of commitment on both of our parts

We're going our separate ways

This show of indifference is breaking our hearts

It's making us crazy, yeah

You sit back and wait for your love to accrue

You'll be waiting a long, long time

Nobody's in love this year

Not even you and I

The lyrics only do partial justice to Zevon, who died in 2003, aged 56. Try to find the albums if you can.

[religion] when in rome

Pope in a mosque

Golden opportunity to defend another religion against Christianity.

The government of the southern Indian state of Andhra Pradesh has banned the propagation of other religions in the holy places of Hindus across the state. The authorities say the move is to ensure that Hindu sentiments in holy places are not offended.

It follows a row over alleged Christian missionary activity around a shrine in the town of Tirumala. Christian organisations have not reacted, but a Muslim legal expert denounced it as unconstitutional.

Precisely. The Christians have no right to enter the holy precincts and try to propagate Christianity. It doesn't need it. This blog has absolutely no problem with any Muslim site in Mecca either. It's the home of Islam and I'll put on the cap and take off the shoes any time to respect Islam.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

However, where one religion comes in, razes another's churches to the ground and builds its own on top of the site, that's beyond the pale. That needs opposing in a big way but not by violence.

[your role in life] greatness thrust upon you

The old Twelfth Night line about some having greatness thrust upon them. I was reflecting on this, after this from Ellee Seymour:

"proven ... leadership qualities and global contacts"

We were discussing Mutleythedogsdayout and his amazing rating in the other poll going on at the moment and I replied:

"Mutley is the Henry V type. A naughty boy now but give him some responsibility and he'd be one of the best."

Now that got me thinking. If we were, let us say, rudely thrust into the political limelight, what role would suit us best? In other words, which role would we take to, like a duck to water?

In my situation, there isn't any role in the British system. In temperament - the Chancellor but I'm no economist and don't wish to be PM. I have no ambitions in that direction. :) The U.S. system though - ah, there's a role tailor-made for me:

Secretary of State

Consider the qualifications required:

1] No discernible talent nor achievements of any note;

2] A mongrel attitude and as ugly as sin;

3] Divided loyalties, suspect contacts and the ability to play all sides;

4] Substantial world contacts;

5] A murky past and some very shady deals;

6] Some organizational talent;

7] Hard-driving and strong-willed;

8] Temperamentally preferring the role of "power behind the throne", rather than the throne itself;

9] Insufferable ego which, strangely, does not translate into ambition;

10] Pretends he's a saint.

Yep, I'm a snip for this role. Now, if we could do a double-package constitutional change to allow non-U.S. born candidates to assume office, we could have something going here. I'm just going off to write Arnie now. Although I think he has the Prez in mind, between you and me.

The other role I think I'm cut out for is The Envoy. As Warren Zevon sang:

He's got diplomatic immunity
He's got a lethal weapon that nobody sees
Looks like another threat to world peace
For the envoy
Send the envoy
Whenever there's a crisis
The President sends his envoy in

Looks like another threat to world peace
For the envoy
Send the envoy . . .
Send for me!

And what about you? What's your ideal role?

[had to smile] had to agree

Whom do you Think would make the Best Prime Minister?

Gordon Brown 6%

David Cameron 0%

Menzies Campbell 6%

Mutley The Dog 88%

17 votes total

[human rights] there's no such thing

Charles Robertson is thought provoking again on the subject of "Handing Out Rights". He dislikes phrases such as:

The joint report by [...] says [a particular group of people] in Jersey should have more rights, independence and choice.

Really? What rights? Because rights come with responsibilities. Your right not to be assaulted gives me a responsibility not to hit you. So upon whom will the corresponding responsibilities for these new rights fall? What's the betting that it's you, me, and our wallets, and we're not really talking about rights at all, but services?

Read the whole thing. I replied thus:

I don't believe in "rights" at all. The concept of a right is that there must be a right "from" something or someone and even where there's a right "to" something, it implies that there is someone to hand that right out in the first place.

In the political sphere, this usually means the government. The only way to get the government to guarantee "rights" is by legislation. And legislation on social issues goes against the whole fabric of a democratic society - it accepts that the government can do things to you and that you need protection from that.

There is a subtle assumption here that you don't run the government - the government rules over you. I don't accept that in the least. My model of a government, the image I have in my mind's eye, is that of representatives, temporarily appointed by us, taking care of the daily running of the army, health care for the aged and so on.

We fight for and negotiate our own conditions and pay a flat tax for those who are incapable due to age, youth, insanity or ill health. Those we employ to take care of these things are accountable to us. This is the so-called government.

This is the concept behind Secretaries in the British government, i.e. officially servants of either the crown or the people but not rulers from Westminster or Washington.

They may have the "right" to enjoy office for some time but it's still a very wonky term.

[olympics] criminal wastage

From Steven Bainbridge on that scandal:

£400,000 of taxpayers' money:

Submitted to the BBC for nothing:

Please read his whole article.

This is more than just government wastage. This is serious criminal incompetence. Who were the people who came up with that? Who employed the people who came up with that? In what shape or form would that ever be accepted by the public? Where exactly did the £400 000 go? How can the cost of an Aston Martin and more go into a piece of paper?

[quiz time] scientific teasers

Answers here.

1. Truth, beauty, strange, charm, up and down are types of what?

a. Quarks

b. Farks

c. Sparks

2. What does VTOL mean when applied to an aircraft?

a. Very Tired Old Lady

b. Vector Transition Overload Laser

c. Vertical Take Off and Landing

3. What is an eolic power station?

a. Nuclear

b. Hydro-electric

c. Wind powered

4. What is the fundamental difference between an autogyro and a helicopter?

a. A helicopter has powered rotors

b. An autogyro has only two blades to the rotors

c. A helicopter has a powered hub but free spinning rotors

5. What would a Conchologist be interested in?

a. Shellfish

b. Shells

c. Shell Oil

6. Which common animal is properly known as Mus Musculus?

a. The Grey Muskrat

b. The Hamster

c. Mouse

7. Which is the densest planet in our old nine planet solar system?

a. Mercury

b. The Earth

c. Jupiter

8. Which element has the highest melting point?

a. Carbon

b. Helium

c. Molibdenum

9. Which is the largest organ in the human body?

a. The lungs

b. The skin

c. The hair

10. What's the difference between venom and poison?

a. Venom is injected by biting or stinging

b. Poison is injected by biting or stinging

c. Venom is alkaloid

Answers here.

[food for thought] is this the reason

I had to think long and hard whether to include this here or over at Blogpower. Possibly better here.

[paris hilton] justice in the world

The release of this sad monstrosity, even if she has been dog-tagged, is a clear travesty but even more nauseating is the way groups have jumped on the bandwagon:

Civil rights leader Rev Al Sharpton condemned the release as showing the "double standards" of the US legal system.

"This early release gives all of the appearances of economic and racial favouritism that is constantly cited by poor people and people of colour," he said. "There are any number of cases of people who handle being incarcerated badly and even have health conditions that are not released."

This blogger, stangely, feels a sort of pity for her - she can't help her roots. Nevertheless, in a week of Awards, Paris is hereby presented with the Liz Hurley Award, in the category: "Famous for being Famous". Well done, Paris!

[u.s. president] the candidates

I wanted to cover the Democratic debate but firstly, things got in the way and secondly, Ruthie did it better. A bit rushed this morning so forgive me for also swiping her pic for my post.

Essentially, having now seen both sides of the debate, I can only conclude that America is in trouble and on both sides of the Atlantic we're entering the era of almost open influence by NGOs, e.g. the CFR backed SPP and others and by the EU which the majority of people in Britain are supposed not to support .

A glance through the credentials of the major candidates leaves only Osama officially unaffiliated and too wet behind the ears to elect. The others are dire.

And as Ruthie said:

It's noteworthy that only one of the Democratic candidates (one of the ones whose name I am unsure of) supported instituting English as the official national language of the United States.

Fred is CFR, the Lizard Queen is so evil in her antecedents that it's not worth repeating over and over, Rudy the Transvestite is a one trick mayor [Ruthie will kill me for this] and none of the others impress.

Ron Paul has shot himself in the foot and is too old anyway.

Your comments?

[seven dishes] designed to churn the stomach

Seven foods which really make you marvel at man's mind:

1] Cало: A top entry in the competition would have to be Russian Sala, where fatty pork, replete with blood and jellied, wobbly, oozing gristle is lovingly served with delicious sauteed vegetables.

2] Tripe: It's a type of edible offal made from the stomach of various domestic animals. Beef tripe is typically made from the first three of a cow's four stomach chambers, the rumen (blanket/flat/smooth tripe), the reticulum (honeycomb and pocket tripe), and the omasum (book/bible/leaf tripe). Abomasum (reed) tripe is also seen, but with much less frequency, owing to its glandular tissue content.

3] Black Pudding: It's a sausage made by cooking blood with a filler until it is thick enough to congeal when cooled. Black pudding can be eaten uncooked but is often grilled or boiled in its skin.

4] Frog's legs: Only the upper joint of the hind leg is served, which has a single bone similar to the upper joint of a chicken or turkey wing. They are commonly prepared by frying or deep-frying, sometimes breaded and sometimes unbreaded.

5] Sheep's brains … I can't go on any longer.

6]

7]

[fishy stories] of halibut, tin cans and mobile toilets

Iceland Review banner shamelessly stolen from their site. Who do they think they're kidding with this summer fields business?

Never let it be said that this blog never brings you cutting edge news. Iceland Review informs us, in that quaint way which only they seem able to manage:

The crew of Gudmundur í Nesi recently caught a fish that appeared to be wearing tribal jewelry around its neck. After a more detailed examination it was determined that the necklace was in fact a tin can.

“This Greenland halibut must have looked down into a tin can on the ocean floor out of curiosity at some point,” Gunnar Gunnarsson, an employer at the fish processing plant Brim who received the strange fish, told Fréttabladid.

Gunnarsson said the fishermen, who had caught the halibut, first thought the tin can looked like tribal jewelry they had seen in history books. It had a rusty golden color and it appeared as if the halibut had worn it around its neck for a long time.

“The tin can had partly grown into its flesh,” Gunnarsson explained. He said these days nothing is supposed to be thrown into the ocean, but evidently tin cans are sometimes tossed overboard, which is dangerous for fish. Gunnarsson said the halibut would not end up in stores.

Name me one mainstream newspaper which would bring you that story. Meanwhile, the Age reports that:

Britons accidentally flush 885,000 mobile phones down the toilet each year, according to new research. The phones fall out of pockets or into the toilet after being placed on the toilet-roll holder.

Just tell me - have you ever accidentally flushed yours down the loo?

[blogpower] voting has started has started

If you get a chance, either visit Blogpower [banner top left] or hit one of these links to take you to the polling. 19 and 20 aren't yet ready:

1 Best Britblog or Column

2 Best North American Blog or Column

3 Best Blog or Column outside North America and the U.K.

4 Best Fisker

5 Best Ranter

6 Best Political Blog or Column

7 Best Blogpower Blog or Column

8 Best Layout and Style

9 Best Blog Name

10 Best Little Blogger [i.e. under 100 uniques a day]

11 Most Articulate Wordsmith

12 Most Under-rated Blog or Column

13 Most Over-rated Blog or Column

14 Most Politically Incorrect Blog or Column

15 Most Sadly Missed Blog or Column

16 Most Consistently Entertaining Blog or Column

17 Prettiest or Tastiest Blog or Column [refers to food or domestic bloggers]

18 Award for Services to Blogging

19 Best Post of All Time

20 Most Unintentionally Humorous post

[beauty] and blogpower

How long till I post something decent again?

Right after I get the last poll up over at Blogpower. Sometime this evening, hopefully.

Meantime, some people have been unkind enough to think that my little guy in the pic [top left] looks a bit dorky.

I don't really look like that, of course.

I actually look like this [lower right]. Handsome little chap, aren't I?

[msm commenters] wot us illit ... lit ... er ... wottev'va

Not everything is as it seems. Predictable MSM blast here by James Farmer, of The Age but this time not at the bloggers themselves:

Comment is twee

I am utterly sick of blog comments. Honestly, I've had enough.

Enough of the flaming, the trolling, the moderation, the spam, the 'who's-got-more' syndrome, the inanity and the sheer stupidity behind allowing them on sites like theage.com.au.

They devalue our content, insult much of our readership, piss off our advertisers, waste massive amounts of our time and place us at an enormous legal risk.

They're also perhaps the least web-savvy thing we, as a large media organisation, should be doing. They're yesterday's online communication forums, they're twee.

This, needs revisiting. Let's get rid of them now.

Thing is - this blogger half agrees with James Farmer. I've seen the comments on my own site and on my fellow bloggers' and the worst they get is incorrect but still readable. But at the newspaper just mentioned, you just need to look at any regular lifestyle column and the illiteracy of the average commenter is staggering:

Not so fast: a lot of 'splaining to do when your teenage son finds it accidentally. "Ewwww" he says.... [Migs is a bit sheepish at June 6]

puts up hand*...ooook...i'll join yours then...[ecboy under a thumb at June 5]

what do I tell you people....research, research research practise, practise an then some … [KARMA at June 6]

*whisper* just between you & i, bornagirl...it's only to keep the peace...i'm not surrendering...[ecboy keeping the peace at June 6]

Tea spluttering out the nose moment, here.Yes, where do you keep it, flightless bird? It's a bit like 'where to put the jewelery' - every place you think of you imagine a burglar finding easily… [bornagirl at June 6]

Rivetting stuff. I don't know how James Farmer finds the exchange above incoherent, near-illiterate and pitched at the lowest common denominator. The pathos is moving and the creative use of the written word poetic.

Bloody MSM snob!

[rest their souls] v-line crash

I'm not going to say one word about Connex.

[awards] sleepless but smiling

I went into this Blogpower Awards thing thinking it would be fun to do and would expose lots of people to other blogs.

Personally, I'd hoped I'd do respectably in Category 11 but never dreamed I'd get anywhere in Category 3. I wish I wasn't there now because I'm getting a little nervous. My little circle has already nominated me and now I'm watching late nominees surge.

Don't think I don't appreciate Category 18. I'm a bit stunned that it's gone as it has against such powerful blogpowers as Iain and Doughty but it's still early days. But even if I'm swamped here at the end, I'll never forget those nominations.

There are so many really good things happening. There are some bloggers we all love, self-effacing and yet hopeful and now people are putting them in and I hope it gives them a real lift and makes their day.

From the e-mails, I know many people are enjoying it and that is great for the soul. I'm b-gg--ed but happy. Except for Category 3, where I'm biting my nails.

[visits to blogpower site] today should be interesting

[nour-obscur] my blog's feeling neglected

Don't know if I can post here today, given the state of the nominations over at Blogpower and day-job commitments but I'll be back with a vengeance a.s.a.p.

Of course, the sharpest of you will have picked up that I am, in fact, posting now.

I know I'm biased but it's good to see the Blogpowerers doing so well and nominated, not only by our own kind, but by non BPers as well. And a heck of a lot of BPers have nominated heathens ... er ... sorry ... I mean non BPers.

Phew! Have a good Tuesday!

[not long now] posts will be back

Normal service will be resumed after the Blogpower polls are put up on Wednesday evening and there's some breathing space.

There's been comment and some people have been good enough to communicate it to me. What will I do if this or that happens? Wouldn't it be better to ... ? Most of the suggestions and banners and so on have been taken on board and the feedback has been great.

None of which explains why I took the Awards and just ran them. Doesn't seem too democratic. The thing is, I am virtually my own boss over here and I tend to seize opportunities. As the majority of my clients were taking breaks for a few weeks, the opportunity was too good not to seize, particularly as my blog hiatus is coming up soon.

It had to be now.

As for opening it up to the known universe instead of keeping it cozy and clubby, there seemed little point in running some transparent awards if no one was going to be around to experience them. So if the Blogpowerers get shut out of most categories, then this blogger is going down in flames. He'll be hung by his groupmates. The test will be tomorrow.

There's been criticism of two kinds - that expected, for example by the politically opposed blogger who just said "here's my list" and not one Blogpowerer was on that list. Ho hum. But one which did rankle was the fellow Blogpowerer who sent me an e-mail with the header "[SPAM] Blogpower Awards."

That was constructive of him and I'd like to point him to the 237 e-mails, last time I checked - on the whole people who took it seriously and thought through their nominations. There are 24 waiting now.

I think it's all worth it but we'll see tomorrow.

[taking the p--s] smouldering anger

I'm a non-smoker and I'm angry. I'm sick of coughing my lungs out on a train which is why I drive now. However, this is not why I'm angry.

Very angry.

Let me steal from this brilliant piece by Jim Schembri, on public transport, and say:

"not fly-off-the-handle angry. This is focused, laser-guided angry - we are reasonable people pushed to that point of sheer exasperation which only the inefficiencies of our wretched, run-down, asinine, political system can push us."

It's a double-whammy, a double insult. First, the incomparable Reactionary Snob asks the question: "[Is this] The end of the humble fag break?" He goes on to explain:

Now it looks like our friends in Brussels have their overly litigious eyes on our doorways and expect those of us, who at the end of a hard day defending the innocent (or, indeed, the guilty) will have to go even further afield [for a fag].

Soon enough, we will have to stand in the middle of the street with a sign saying 'I will stub this fag out on my face if a non-smoker comes anywhere near me' hung around our necks.

As if that wasn't enough, on cue, RS's Google ads at the top of his sidebar launched into this:

Catch Smokers Lighting Up

Unique accurate method of catching smokers in the act of lighting up

They're seriously advertising technology to help you turn in a work colleague or friend for something he or she dearly needs at that point in time? What the f--k is this world coming to? Honestly!

You know what? I'm going to take up smoking. Yes I am.

I'm going to fly over to Edinburgh and light up a giant, one foot long joint in the middle of Princes Street and stuff them when they come for me. I'll blow smoke in their faces and knock 'em all out.

I'm angry!

UPDATE: Mutleythedog has just inspired me:

SMOKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH!

TAKE UP SMOKING - ITS COOL AND MAKES YOU LOOK MANLY*!

I DEMAND MY RIGHT TO COUGH AND SPLUTTER TO AN EARLY GRAVE!

Now come on over and arrest me! Illegal, my a-se, you non-comps!

*Apologies to the ladies for the unreconstructed non-inclusion there.

[wedded bliss] stymied at the 11th hour

More than interested in this because a similar thing happened to us:

A Gloucestershire couple who spent £4000 on a Caribbean wedding are not legally married because of a spelling mistake. Mike Goodhall and Heidi Loader have spent six months trying to correct the misspelling by a clerk.

They returned the marriage certificate asking for it to be amended, but the travel agents had lost it and their booking records.

Our particular situation was in Thailand and we chose that to avoid local difficulties at home. Everything was fine except for one particular document. We were at Pattaya at the time and needed to take a taxi to Bangkok, [a Mercedes], just to get the certificate.

Nothing wrong with Bangkok - some good shopping there but we'd had other plans and had just come from Bangkok anyway. Still, it was a nice ride in the Merc.

[special jmb type quiz] try your luck

1] Vancouver is named after:

a. Captain George Vancouver

b. Captain James Vancouver

c. Captain Joseph Vancouver

2] Vancouver is located between the:

a. Strait of Jacquet and the Coast Mountains

b. Strait of Georgia and the Coast Mountains

c. Strait of Georgia and the Toast Mountains

3] The Port of Vancouver became internationally significant after the completion of the:

a. Suez Canal in the 1950s

b. Toronto Sewers in the 1940s

c. Panama Canal in the 1920s

4] The 2010 Winter Olympics will be centred in:

a. Banff and Calgary

b. Vancouver and Whistler

c. Victoria and Seattle

5] The major park in central Vancouver is known as:

a. Stanley Park

b. Laurel Park

c. Hardy Park

6] 40 years ago, the following happened:

a. John Lennon and Yoko Ono had their "Love In"

b. Apple Records went bankrupt

c. Sgt. Peppers was released in the U.S.

7] The next PM of the UK, barring a terrible accident, will be:

a. Angela Merkel

b. Gordon Brown

c. Nicolas Sarkozy

8] Voltaire's Maxim was actually written by:

a. François-Marie Arouet

b. Evelyn Beatrice Hall

c. Beatrice Evelyn Arouet

9] Tiberius Gracchus was a Roman troublemaker [social reformer]. His brother was:

a. Gaius

b. Marcus

c. Tarkus

10] ELP were a musical group of the 70s. The initials stand for:

a. Electric Light Provider

b. Eno, Loggins and Pitney

c. Emerson, Lake and Palmer

Answers here